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living is easy with eyes closed

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nothing gets crossed out. [03 Oct 2008|06:50pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

well the futures got me worried such awful thoughts.
my heads a carousel of pictures, the spinning never stops.

i'm a different person to the girl who use to write in this thing.
i have a new home, new friends, new fad.
and maybe i left you behind, or you left me behind.
and maybe it makes me kinda sad to know that i just don't even care about that.

but i'm a different person to the girl who use to write in this thing.
& that's why this'll be the last time i ever write in it.

goodluck and goodbye.

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[10 Aug 2008|03:10pm]
i enjoy the time i spend being a trashbag with friends on the weekend. they're just like me. and if you met them you'd love them, because they are lovely to everyone.

being at splendour really wasn't as good as it could have been. sure, i was on holiday with 9 boys who i LOVE seeing at music festivals. but living with them made me realise how much i wanted to be in melbourne with my real friends who told me how much they missed me and how the weekend wasn't the same without me.

i have a boyfriend now. he's older than me, but he's amazing. when he wakes up in the morning he kisses me on the nose and he comes and visits me at work during his work breaks. i feel like i've known him forever and i haven't known him for that long. he tells he likes me all the time and he's happy i'm his girlfriend. he takes me to gallerys and fancy bars and looks after me. i really like this one. && i know i'm not the relationship type but with him it's different. i'm really happy. and i'm really comfortable with him. so far, anyone who's met him likes him a lot too.
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[13 May 2008|08:56pm]
since my last entry a lot has happened.

i'm living in flemington now. i turned 20. i've been out of control with partying and boys. and i'm still working at the colonial hotel.

but i can safely say that although i've been having a lot of fun, things will change. i want to take the next few months to stop this nonsense spending i've been doing & grow up a little. i want to visit my friends whom i miss so very much. slut muffin, lil, bubbles... being on livejournal tonight made me realise how long it's been since i've actually been around you guys. it's made me miss you heaps. and now just you guys, but some friends i've taken for granted ever since last year really.

working full time is great moneywise, and i don't regret doing it because i've gone from a little girl to an adult in the time i've been there and i appreciate it, but i feel like i've lost anything i had with those i care about a lot.

wellll.. i sound lame, so i'm gonna stop here.

so like... later. suckers!
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[27 Mar 2008|11:21pm]

when three boys in three months whom i've met have not lived in melbourne something is going wrong.
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[24 Mar 2008|02:37am]
i'm turning into a bit of a trashbag.

and a bit of a hermit.
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[19 Mar 2008|10:17pm]
keira told me the other day all her friends are those she works with.
i kinda agree with that. i'm closest to those i see everyday because i don't have time to see anyone else.
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[14 Mar 2008|09:15am]
all my best friends live too far away.
in other countries or two hour drives away!
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[05 Mar 2008|12:04am]
i'm moving in with claire to flemington.
and i'm totally looking forward to a change.
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[26 Feb 2008|07:01pm]
i am bored and i am in a rut and i am tired.

but just so you know, i am happy.
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[23 Feb 2008|11:57pm]
i'm buying a ticket to the UK in a couple of weeks.
hopefully i'll be gone by august.

i need this.
i want to prove i can do this on my own && a change is something i've wanted for a long time now. also i spoke to thomas for an hour tonight and i know how much he would love to see me, or anyone of us really. he's terribly depressed and i can't imagine how he feels to know if we can't visit him it's going to be at least three years before he's even allowed to visit us.
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[08 Feb 2008|11:33pm]

i got a $100 advance from work today all so i can go see this guy tomorrow.

good vibrations here i come.

fuck i go to way too many concerts and gigs. it's only feb and i was at falls, BDO, girl talk, spoon and now good vibes. and people wonder why i never have monies!

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[03 Feb 2008|11:30pm]
 reasons why life is shit atm:

1. thursday night - my drink got spiked at f4. well, i'm assuming it was spiked because one minute i was standing there a little drunk but fine, and the next i lost control of my whole body. i couldn't see, walk, talk or do anything. it lasted about a minute then went away. then it came back again. that was fucked.

2. friday night - after a couple of drinks and an hour before driving again i drove home. got booze bussed, and somehow got away with it. i didn't have my p's up and the lady asked for my licence and i didn't even have that on me. she let me go after i told her i was 21 and on a full licence. that right there was luck.

3. saturday night - i kissed a boy who has a girlfriend. not only a boy, but a regular customer from work who i actually really get along with who i think now will never come back into work again.

4. sunday night - my best mate tried to kiss me, again.

i feel like i'm not only screwing things up for myself lately, but for others too. i think i need a break from everyone for a while.
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[26 Jan 2008|11:53pm]
i'm a mess. i sleep for an average of three hours a night. thomas been away for two and a half weeks. it's different. since meeting thomas i have never spent more than four days without him because we were always working together. i miss him. i miss how comfortable things are with him. how no matter what you're doing or who you're with he'll always be there for me as JUST a friend. because that's what i want right now. i don't want this meaningless hookup bullshit. i don't want someone to half assedly tell me their confused when it shouldn't (and doesn't) have anything to do with me. all i need is a friend to be there for me and make me feel less alone than i have been feeling lately.

because lately all i feel is lonely.
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[14 Jan 2008|09:53am]

honestly most of my time lately has been spent at work (pretty much having fun with mark!).
or with adrian (just chilling out and talking!).

that's it.
i just don't even know how to call anyone else to hang out anymore without feeling awkward about doing it.

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[06 Jan 2008|04:49pm]
i'm having a housewarming party & i don't know how to make a guestlist because in the past month some of my good friends have become meaningless to me and i don't know how to tell them that. but maybe with the way they've been treating me they already know.
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[29 Dec 2007|12:37am]

gone until next year.
peace, yo.

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[22 Dec 2007|08:17pm]

one year i want a white christmas.
it's disapointing to have hot christmas days.

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[12 Dec 2007|08:08pm]
lately i've been flirting with a 31 year old guy.
but not just any 31 year old guy, but the driver of justin timberlake.
and the driver of lional richie.
and the guy that's working on a movie starring tom hanks.

and a pretty rad dude.
i have no real intentions.
he's just kinda fun to flirt with.
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[28 Nov 2007|10:31am]

i wish i lived in the world of degrassi. we never had that much excitement (and drama) in high school.
i'm so completely bored with everything lately that i have decided to go back to working at the bakery, but only in the mornings when they need me. because obviously the 55 hours a week i do at colonial just aren't enough and i need something else to stop me from hanging out with my friends.

i want to find a boy. and fall in love. and move out with him.
fo realz.
maybe i just want a boy.

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[18 Nov 2007|09:26pm]

ben's gonna teach me bass guitar. 
he said his band needs a new bass guitarist and i jokingly said i'd do it. he said it doens't matter that i can't play because he could teach me and if i'm dedicated enough i'd be good enough to join the band in a couple of months.

i said 'rad'.

it probly wont happen but it's be awesome if it did.

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